Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Global Warming????

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina many scientists and politicians have found an opportunity to do one of the things that scientists and politicians do best: find ridiculous links between news events and their Wild Assed Theories (WAT), and subsequently get paid a shitload of money to talk about them on TV. Since the current news story de jure is weather related, we now bring you everyone who ever had a WAT about global warming. A hurricane, no bigger than many of the heavy hitters that have come ashore in the past decades has struck dead-on a city that has known that it could not withstand dead on strike of this magnitude for longer than global warming has been a term in the "legitimate" scientific community. Wow somebody take a picture of my face so that you know what I look like when I'm shocked. I'll remind everyone that New Orleans was doing quite well throughout the hurricane until the levy broke and let all the water flood into the city. But I digress... It's time folks for my fifteen minutes on the morning shows. Presenting My WAT...

Hypothesis:

Global Warming caused the disaster in New Orleans.

Proof:

Global warming has caused an overall irritation amongst those in the already warm climates of Louisiana. Feeling the pangs off a heat wave one or more enterprising individuals constructed a time machine, went back in time, and built a really crappy levy that they knew would not withstand a Cat 4 hurricane. They then went to the home of Ray Crock and told him secrets that would lead him to develop a really small hot fudge sundae containing a secret addictive agent, which would eventually sell in his McDonalds stores for $.99.

Implications:

Global warming has not only cause the greatest natural disaster in recent memory; it has also made me hungry for a sundae. If I didn't have to go get one I would be able to tell you all about my WAT for fixing the environment...

Damn you Global Warming!!!

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Anonymous said...

If you're going to use french phrases appropriated by english speakers, you may want to learn how to spell them: "the current news story du jour..."

Quite frankly, it surprises me that you'd want to sully your blog with dirty french in the first place...