Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Meanwhile In Washington

Republicans: Mr President, we will not allow you to continue this absurd trend of massive spending that we were more than happy to engage in with a Republican president.
President Obama: Well I'll agree to pretend to slow down a little on the spending that we both want, if you agree to let me punish some rich people so I can get votes.
Democrats: Hell no you will not pretend to cut spending, if we pretend to cut spending we'll lose the money from all our lobbyist and trial lawyer friends.
President Obama: Dammit Democrats play along, if we just get them to let us punish rich people we'll be fine.
Republicans: Hell no if you pretend to punish rich people we'll lose the money from our lobbyist and military contractor friends. Now we'll pretend to want to balance the budget as punishment.
Democrats: What? You want to do what? Balanced budget? That's ridiculous no one could ever spend less than %150 of their income.
Republicans: Ha ha.. fooled you. We were kidding about that balanced budget thing. How about this we'll agree to fake spending cuts if you'll agree to no changes in the tax laws, your friends at GE will be so happy they'll let you cum in thier mouths.
Democrats: That sounds more than fair, can we still call you buggering assholes though?
Republicans:We would expect nothing less. Now shall we adjourn to our private gourmet dining room, the first $500 bottle of wine is on me, and by me I mean my constituents.
Democrats: Oh lets, that would be fantastic. Then lets drive around drunk and force ourselves on some teenagers.
Republicans: I like the way you think.
President Obama: Hey you guys know I'm standing right here... Right?.. Hello:? Guys? Awww dammit I never have any friends.

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